OK so you’ve heard about the law of attraction – and how instantaneous the things you want come to you, if you just let go of all the baggage attached to it right ? It’s really hard to grasp at the start, and sound so out there, and messed up so let’s just do some storytime with actual example from an actual human bean right here and get right to it. warning: cussing, cause things get crazy
Storytime 1 where i work
So a little intro about me. I’m from a very – let’s say Alpha accomplished family, with uncles owning vet hospitals, the stereotypical lawyers, live abroad breadwinners and the padre de familias being famous generals in the military. I’m fairly smart, being a scholar since highschool but every nerve of my body lowkey hated the stereotype, loaded expectations and all the pomp and posturing of my field, architecture.
I only chose architecture – cause it was the artsiest science course my highschool contract allowed for, and is conveniently respectable. I also liked the idea of helping people not by doing researches but actually encouraging people to dream up their communities together , and build their futures. This was not exactly what they taught us in school, and instead taught us how to make avante garde vacation homes, even more malls (TM), and striking marketing campaigns for what is just another cookie cutter residential project. I graduated, and I need to intern for approximately 2 more years before taking the architectural board exams.
I was panicking, I didn’t want to design fancy houses for rich people. Not when I’m in a developing country where shantyhouses are either flooded or burning. Not when human civilization can make mountains and metal beasts but not house the poor. It pained me looking up firms to apply for. My family was pressuring me to find work. I had enough of the anxiety and straight up rage googled the nearest housing NGO. And there was one 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. THEY NEEDED ONE LAST HIRE. They had projects I already read about in early college years, and I even recognized one of the heads as one of the rare community development x site planners that work with United Nations as a rep of the Philippines. THEY HIRED ME ON THE SPOT, AND THEY WILL SIGN MY INTERNSHIP HOURS. I NEVER FELT SO LIBERATED ??
I WAS SO IMPRESSED ?? The NGOs I work with and for are truly inspiring and working with them has taught me about gratitude , humility but also taught me so much about myself, the politics of power and money and what it’s really like to be poor. I’ve never expected this! I always thought that due to family expectations I’d be doing this in my 30s when I have a crisis and tick off some regrets – not in my dreams did I think I’ll be able to do this in my 20s! AND SO CLOSE TO HOME. literally along the main thoroughfare outside of my house. that was so isane, five years they slipped under my radar and BAM! it dropped in my lap. all that i ask is right in my face, i had a ‘what the fish’ moment in our first community mapping activity i had ‘ this is it, im actually doing it on loop in my brain and it sent chill down my spine. I was just not open to the possibility before – and right when I was, it was ready for me too.
Storytime 2 awkward potato phase
Everyone was once a teeneger, and was once an awkward (and admittedly) ugly potato. My lack of confidence and shame was the learned type. In the Philippines, the ideal girl has straight hair, fair skin and slim light body with that maria clara attitude. The shy demure type to get all the boys wooing her.
My mom (bless her) made me sit for hours, HOURS, like 4 hours a session for rebonding treatments to have my naturally curly hair straightened the way the commercials and local celebrities touted beauty to be. She cared for me, but was also part of the culture that surrounded lowkey insulted and bullied me for believing I was ugly. My butt is too big, my hips to wide and my mom and brother are bomb and fashionable and I wore glasses, hated sports, liked books and anime. My mom was popular in her college days while I had nill suitors. If this was a transformation movie I would be the ‘before’ – I even had the braces! complete set.
Well this was before I saw brazillian samba. these amazonas in the beach, in the sun, carnaval drums and fiesta, with thunder thighs, slick heels, thick bums, morena skin, curly hair and my jaw dropped through 10,000 basement floors. And only one thought kept ringing in my mind – these women were fucking beautiful. And they happened to have hips and thighs like mine- heck maybe my curls could even look like that. What the fuck >?? Didn’t my family have some vague spanish , latin american lineage. LOOK AT THEM. THEYRE STRUTTING THEIR COLORFUL FEATHERS AND WOW>. JUST. I COULD BE BEAUGTIFUL!?QDGBADSG
I swear it’s like sky opened for me at that moment. I had a legit religious experience watching brazillian samba for the first time. Inner me, was crying shaking into bits having the simple realization that philippine standards of beauty didn’t need to validate me- I’ll just be damn beautiful anyway. I demanded my mom not to touch my hair in college. I googled how to style naturally wavy hair and how to get it layered. I studied latin american dances, and decided I don’t have to be a shy maria clara woman when I’m not and look at these beautiful women – I want to move like them. I fell in love with dancing, I fell in love with my thighs and myself. For once i not only felt beautiful – but I knew I was beautiful by being comfortable with myself.
Several times, people have mistaken me for being an espanola. They ask me where I got my hair done, and consequently die of jealousy when i say my hair is naturally wild, fun and crazy. I hear thin girls want my thighs and hourglass figure and I’m like FAM. FAM. You’re not the one they made jokes at about my hair eating combs, and the one shame for having pants that are extra extra large. but yes I do have a bomb ass carnaval beauty, and the world has enough space for all kinds of gorgeousness. Guys find me attractive now but that didn’t even matter anymore??
I thought I wanted to be pale skinned, demure, with straight hair and a stick figure. What i actually was to be fall in love with myself just the way I already am. Again. I didn’t see it at first. But that’s okay, what I always wanted was always right there. RIGHT IN ME- LITERALLY! JUST WAKE UP!!!
storytime 3 Mogi existing
Ok this one will take some explaining to do, since miracles are truly situational and personal in circumstance, and some of them come in the form of people coming into your life in the perfect time, this is what’s true for me so get ready.
In second year college I broke up with my dancesport partner and i was short of depressed. My mom forced me to quit dancesport because she was dance major, a ballet dancer, and she won’t have her daughter compete without learning jazz or ballet. I was mad because I loved latin music and dance not ‘stick figure snobby’ ballet- she was ripping me apart from something I was obsessed with and a partner I really damn cared about. Looking back, I now appreciate learning the “formal” dances, but also realized how stagnant i was with my previous partner who was also lowkey abusive. Anyway, I was still mad as hell. Maam ana, my dancesport coach let me learn salsa so I could do latin dancing without a permanent partner. She was also very passionate about salsa in general . I was a bitch of a partner. I felt like I didn’t enjoy dancing anymore, dancing meant freedom to me, and being uninspired was like robbing me of life of all music and movement that ever exists in this life. Even thinking about it now, I don’t even know how to explain it, it was a very dark time of my life. Followed by a severe burst of sunshine that was my first ever salsa congress. Where I fell in love with latin streetdance , social dancing and being free on the dancefloor.
Mogi, was a miracle. Imagine okay, sad potato maalia- greeted by this handsome egyptian, the cordial flight attendant trope, who kisses your hands and wants to dance with you. Knows how to speak filipino since he’s did dancesport with filipino OFWs in egypt and also by the way did breakdancing before just like your kuya. (that’s what you call your big brother here in the philippines). He’s obsessed with salsa, but also knows a lot of ballroom to make you feel comfortable adjusting and adapting your dance. You. literally. have. the same obsession with slavik kryklyvk and karina smirnof. he has saved photos of those dancers in his phone, just. like you. you both agree that bamboleo is hands down the god of showdance performance and never will such legend walk this earth again. You instantly click between dance classes, and he tells you all about salsa, cuban salsa , and in that cute accented voice encourages you to dance. just dance with him. your first jack and jill (freestyle competition), you were randomly partnered with him and you panicked and had the best time of your life. On the last night of the 3day congress, he didn’t want to let you go (ayaw ka niyang bitawan). he wanted to dance with you. he made you feel valued, so unlike your previous partner, he was patient, fun and was proud of you? if you could put it that way. he’d go around the floor and genuinely be showing you off like yeah I’m dancing with this really amazing beginner. For the short while that you got to know him, it was pure insanity. You went to the bathroom, and had your whole body shaking from joy and tears. that happened that happened that happened that happened that happpenehthathpappehend. god fucking , i was never so overwhelmed with pure joy from an almost stranger ?? looking back i swear that meeting was karmic on some level, that moggi had to happen, for me to fall in love with social dancing, and dancing with strangers, and being mere miracles and honoring each other by dancing and sharing the floor. God, i just had to let go.
Literally, this is the case of being taken away from your dreams to reach your destiny.
I had to get out of dancesport to appreciate dance, outside of a competitive, murder the other contestants mindset. Salsa paved the way for me to learn embodied meditation, and channeling while dancing. For me to ‘read’ other people, first with body movements then auras. I became an empath via dancing, I had a taste of God lost in motion. It was ecstatic.
And my dancesport coach literally lead me to it. It was always right there, with an element of grace.
All of your hearts desires are closer to home than you think. As abraham hicks has said, the very fact that you can even iterate your desires means that the universe already has the language and capacity to make it come true, you just need to convince yourself that you’re ready for it. That you deserve it, that you’ll allow yourself to have it.
Had your own “it was right there all this time!!” moments ? Tell me about it in the comments
Til next time loves,