Self awareness lesson : WHY DO YOU #crush and why ?

You ever looked at a parade of exes or crushes and realize you have ‘ a type’?

Had a wet dream of a person you admired ?

In dream language, that means you want to incorporate aspects of that person into your experience, your life. Your soul seeks growth and new experience, and that sort of person seems really fascinating – what does that mean ? That’s what you want.

Concrete example: me. I always found it sexy when a classmate of mine was relatively independent, particularly if they commuted far on their own, for the sake of exploration and didn’t have to make paalam (ask permission to parents). That was my sheltered me screaming inside and living viscerally through her crushes (AHAHAHFAHS). I only became aware of this with my first real crush where I  had a very specific moment that I crushed hard on him, and it was when he non-chalantly just asked people to come over without asking 8 barriers of permission with his parents. I’m from a military family, that didn’t ever happen in my whole academic experience.

I was doused by the cold water of realization that my type was the untethered from family type, and that says shit about me. Until now I’m working on this, but I’m SUPER MEGA ULTRA AWARE OF THIS. and i first noticed it by realizing i had a ‘type’ and looking real hard at my crushes. (ahah oh boy)

what did you find out about yourself while analysing your crushes ? tell me in the comments

love, Maalia

your soul is welcome here

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