hi, you. It’s your resident aries, scorpio ascendant and mars in Leo here and oh boy is aries season coming down hard this month. In case you don’t speak astrology: the bees are buzzing, the spring is nigh– it’s fire time.
your mantra for today: today. is day one.
Today, you will read a 14 page karmic report and will be just so done with all your bullshit. All your backpedaling and chacha cha-ing. one step forward, two steps back. You’ve dirtied your test paper, you’ve blundered in your mistakes. Now throw it in the trash where it belongs. drop that ugly luggage. And start it better –again.
Today is day one.
Today, you will rage sort through your pantry, your closet, your childhood belongings and you will declare – this is done, this is over with. You will physically destroy and detoxify something out of your life. Grab the demon that has been wringing at the neck for years and throw him at the doorstep. you know which one.
yeah that one.
the one with the ugly handsome face, so familiar, so treasured as the oh so slightful belief thing that my parents raised me with, the perfectly crafted excuse of why hart thou I can’t make it so, that teasing allure of a stable comfort zone that is actually a cage, that is actually a choke. that are actually shackles and one day,
you’re throwing him out in the sidewalk where he belongs. your pissy sob story of excuses – you will write it all out one last time, and burn it inside a giant trashcan like a rock-metal-rockstar, and exit with flamethrowers and upturned dust.
you will like this.
today, Day One.
Not day zero or day negative anything. Not infinite possibilities, not anticipation. Day One, like an arrow, like direction, like physicality. Like the strength and power of committing to a decision. This will be 10 million times more intense than any new years resolution.
Day One, a funeral to your past self.
Sorry, she’s dead now.
new fresh and zest and oomph for life.
Today I walked ten times around our gigantic school oval just chanting, invoking – making writing, foreswearing, intoning a covenant to myself. I am confident, I am successful. I have everything i need to fully live and realize all my dreams. even secret desires. I am strong. I am beautiful. –I am learned. oh have I learned so hard, I am battlescarred and wise. and I’ll not only do better this time — I am commanding the best of myself this time. I deserve nothing less than being All of me, Whole of me, the Kindest and most Loving essence of me that has the grit-this karmic gift to start again.
Today, in day One.
The sun is rising, like youth, like coursing ball of molten lava and heat.
And for some reason, its just so damn easy for you to receive it.
You’ve received it now, by god.