We often meditate on healing, trying to acheive a modicum of inner peace – whatever that is. But in today’s modern age, there is none of us who have not suffered anything remotely traumatic. Personal disasters, huge financial loss, blame, misery, hopelessness, this unending destruction.
We try to run away from this by numbing ourselves in alcohol and conversation, shows and any possible kind of self-flaggelation. Today, I invite for you. Bravery. honesty.
I invite you to revisit the personal violence in a guided workshop to exorcise your own fuckshit. To create a safe space where we release all these nukes and have it detonate in an inconsequential area, and in a non judgemental place.
This is most important work. There is nothing more real than being a witness to pain and acknowledging it. To realized , unrealized pain. Even if for now you feel helpless sad and angry. We are being honest. Only when you see something for where it truly is can you love it into a better place. Today I dare you to meditate your wars. To meditate pain.
Lie on the floor with your eyes closed. Progressively relax your body starting from your shoulders down to your feet. Relax the muscles on your face and really come in your body. Ask all thought to stop or be in a room far away. Just be inside your body and feel it be heavy and become weak soup.
Breath slow and evenly into your belly for ten counts. As slow as possible.
Observe the blackness that you are in. The void. The white noise in the room. Hold this nothingness, hold it for as long as you can.
And when you are ready. Ask for the greatest trauma that you’ve been through. the greatest violence you’ve witnessed, in your body, your greatest lost, or your greatest anger. You don’t have to tell me which one, you know which one you let fester deep in your subconscious.
Hold the pain. See the pain as real as you can and don’t fear anything that is just you anyway.
Bring it our of your stomach, lift the heavy chain the ball the person who killed you and bring them into your palms. See them grow larger and carve the earth, the ground the space you to become the canvass of your pain, the river of blood. Excorcise yourself. MOVE. Create nonsensical sounds, weep cry, destroy a useless box of cardboard if that was the beating you’ve ever suffered. yes.
It there. You’re there. There is no where to hide.
Engage your entire body, still with your eyes closed. Summon your enemy in itw worst form and really feel it in your body. Lose yourself. Go crazy, it is the only logical reply to irrational pain. Release, feel where the sad in your body lurks and throw it to the wall. Feel the fear on the bottom of your spine, feel the defeat in your eyes and paint the room with it. Throw it out.
Throw this energy out. Vomit. See the most disgusting avalanche of sewer water and see it come out from the pit of your stomach. All that failure, all that rage , exhaust all of them. See them, know them. See that it is separate from you, you’ve lived them and they were real and now is their last dance. So for fuck’s sake be real with it. Say what you wanted to say to that bastard’s face. Say all your wails, spit all your frustrations. This is horrifying but admit it. It also feels good doesn’t it ?
Get it. Get into it and grab them by the neck. Grab that shit you’ve been living with and throw them into a pit, a fire, a blackhole. No matter how long it takes. No matter how much time and slow you need to go about this. Watch everything burn and exit your life until nothing is left but ashes. See it thrown far away or swallowed by angels, struck by god’s lightning.
It doesn’t need to make sense. You wring out the water from a rag. You let that fuckshit out of you and out of your life and you’re done. Feel yourself emptied. Weak but emptied. Feel a cup that is emptied of it’s last contents, feel it as completely void and blank.
Like the blackness we started with.
Slowly and evenly. Consciously breathe into your stomach. Stay here as long as you would like. In complete dead silence for five to ten minutes. Be nothing, don’t be here. Be gone.
Then crawl back to the surface the way you came in. Feeling each part of your body. Starting from your fingertips, or your toes. Then up your limbs your shoulders. Your face. Ease yourself back into this life. You don’t have to make sense of it.
The work is done.