Right of the bat let me say this: In my most humble experience I’ve encountered and learned that some of your most intense soul mate relationships are not gonna be romantic. Some of them will be your students, your parents, your siblings, a stranger and the lessons can range from the smallest to the largest thing.
I’ve seen a few people write about this already, but it’s uncanny occurrence in my life is worth …. documenting.
01 I have this dance friend who I know in my gut I’ve shared lifetimes with. Like the way SHE DRESSES. It’s like it’s triggered a really deep part of my brain going – you wanted to express yourself like this when you were younger! Look how confident she in a body type that looks like your when you were fatter in your awkward teen years.
a goddamn nother version of you.
Except cooler, the way you wanted to be cool in high school. But she’s depressed. You can help her that.
It’s really really really weird.
Also our relationship, even if we haven’t known each other for too long has multiple layers.
(2) She can talk to plants effortlessly. I’ve wanted to do that since my psychic senses awakened.
(3) She has troubles with vivid, lucid and looping nightmares. I do most of my spiritual work through dreams, and I’m actually pretty damn qualified and competent to teach her techniques that would help her. (see here)
(4) We came from the same highschool.
(5) She has had several boyfriends and that’s like one of my messed up insecurities in highschool. How for some reason I was just this insecure little nerd who was jealous of streetdance people AND HERE I AM. FACED With the very thing i was jealous of/hated in my highschool years. and yet.
I love her. Effortlessly. I care for her.
I know her, and see her beyond her labels. I root for her successes.
And just because the universe likes packing a 1-2 punch I got to know her through this other girl. Who’s like almost this laughable archetype of a bitch I would hate in my high school. It’s like all my high school insecurities and belief systems are being churned out to be healed with my relationship with the two of them.
This is the IT- girl, with the makeup, and the 300 like profile pictures on facebook. The one with a boyfriend who’s also a tv actor. The singer-school president and the fashion style that could lay all you nerds to rest. I would – I’m HONESTLY STILL slightly overwhelmed with the chokers, black lipstick and huge hoop earrings HAHA. It’s like – I hated these types of girls when I was younger.
And now two of them are my closest friends.
I see now that I’ve misjudged people like that. Why they wear clothes like that. Why they have perennial boyfriends.
If anything their boy trouble has made me relieved I skipped all of that during high school. It sounds like a lot of drama, and it’s also difficult to really focus on yourself when you’re pulled in a lot of directions by a peer group, your special someone and not to mention your parents at that age. Weird. CRAZY.
I dance with them a lot.
I feel so … relieved?
I feel like I’ve found family. I feel deeply healed about things I didn’t even think I needed healing about. For example:
(1) I never thought I wanted to be called ate (big sister in filipino) that bad. I mean, during highschool, college (heck even now) I tend to ping pong to a bunch of groups never sticking to an org to be senior enough to be deferred to in a certain extent. Looked up to, looked for advice for.
I was always too adventurous, too impatient, always wanting to look for the next best thing. True aries sun and gemini moon all the way. Has a hand in everything and doing at least 10,000 things. So I never really stayed long enough to have “metaphorical” kids to tend to you know. I don’t even have younger cousins in the city who would at least on a familial level look up to me for advice.
BAM JUST LIKE THAT.
I was the mother/ate role to these astonishing gorgeous beautiful young girls. Girls who wanted me to talk in their debut, who would make time to go out of their way (we’re all from really vastly different schools and backgrounds) to see me, because they want to talk to me–who would reach out for me in trouble. Who gave me respect ?? I can tell in one of the girl’s boyfriend’s eyes how much he was scared of me. How much he knew my opinion mattered to his girlfriend.
And I’m like you bet it does, I’ll burn villages for this girl so you don’t f*ck with her mama hen. It was just so ….
I knew at some level I missed this. This me looking out for people who were younger than me. Who I can guide around experiences similiar to my own. When I invite them over, sometimes my brother would tease me about – oh you have friends and I’m like yeah? I guess I skipped the whole having friends over in highschool and college. It’s like I’m making up for lost time.
Actually, I’ve been hanging out with my meditation magic friends more often, and the bonds I have with them is deeper than any (quite casual) thing I’ve built in college. They bring me out of my shell and they’re doing for me what I’m doing for these two girls.
Helping me navigate my transition adult life
while I help my girls navigate college life
Helping me translate my psychic abilities into helpful services for other people
while I help my girls accept themselves for what psychic abilities they already have and to accept themselves for what their experience is. and not to conflate it, confused it, but really ground and stay with yourself.
It’s funny how symmetrical all of this is.
I also feel insanely lucky to be part of various support systems. For example my magic and meditation mentor, ate jammi.
It’s like – where have you been all my life levels kind of symmetry.
We both life the same genres of anime. We’re both curly haired. We both resonate with shamanic work. She’s also asexual. She loves gaming and using play as a method of therapy and healing. She taught me tarot. We have tea, tarot lessons and we watch fantasy anime with biscuits.
Her husband also cooks a mean ramen. And is a professional gaming writer.
The first time I met them I remember being so astonished meeting two full grown ass intelligent caring adults who were into the same stuff that I was. Who unironically would discuss the creative merits of fan fiction and characters as ways of projections and healing personas. And afford an apartment in the nice part of the city. And be blissfully in love and happy. IT’S LIKE, THEIR VERY EXISTENCE _ WAS THIS SHINING BEACON OF WHAT ADULTHOOD COULD BE. THAT not everyone hated their jobs. Not everyone had to trade their passion and soul for money.
And not everyone who was in to “childish things” was a being naive and childish. They can run a good RPG game and discuss metaphysical and socio-cultural theory. They were so many things I’ve dreamed of being. My mentor channeled angels and wrote fiction. She embodied things I was taught that couldn’t exist in the “Real” world. Whatever that matrix ideation is.
Some days I need to slap myself about being friends with people so cool. I really damn appreciate them.
I love them. So much.
One time my mentor was sick and her angels told her to request healing for me. It’s overwhelming to be told to shaman the shaman who guided you through your insecurities about being a shaman – BUT I PULLED THROUGH.
I even saw her as a tiny infant. I knew in my gut, that in some other life time – She was my daughter. – That such a wise beautiful being that is teaching me – was someone who was under my care at some point in the time space multiverse. It put things into perspective. Don’t put on her a pedestal, don’t project all over the place on this beautiful soul.
But love her.
I’m processing so much mirror work with the soulmates that I have on my plate. I mean I’ve talked extensively about my mother, brother and libra friend on here, but now I just gave you a rundown of my magic teams and it’s like 4 intense soul mate bonds teaching me on top of all of that. All
The learning is deep, fun, liberating.
There’s something damning when you hear mirror work. But that’s only because it promises profound change. Let things change you for the better. Like irritants creating pearls. The cognitive dissonance allowing you to imagine a world that is different to one that you’ve perceived before.
One where you believe in yourself.
One where you forgive yourself for your high school biases.
One where you embody roles you never thought you could handle.
It’s wild wild work.
This article has been more me sharing my personal experience than a guide on how to identify mirror relationships – but that’s the point. I wanted to show you how personal mirroring is, and the breadth of the lessons that you could get from them. That they’re THIS EERILY symmetrical, similiar to you. That they polish you to be more of yourself, more of your genuine self and nothing less.
I’m feeling so astonishingly grateful lately. I’m not just having good days, I’m having good WEEKS. Weeks of really productive dance rehearsals, exciting theater projects and I come home to a really doting and wonderful family life. Really supportive and patient with all the things that’s going on with me. So yeah,
Til next time,