The Journey thru the Seven Kingdoms

Create 

a character,

Go forth

just 

Wakefulness.

No

Ecstasy,

No 

Prize

Just a

human

Experience

.

.

.

Life always rewards:

Courage

Acceptance

Self-Worth

 Vulnerability

Love

Authenticity

Non-Judgement

Embodied Truth

Only One walks the path.

All may play assistants and mentors

And demons

For this journey

forever told

.

.

.

Describe the seven kingdoms

Like a fever dream

like fantastic realms and locations

like liminal spaces accidentally visited

As each question unfolds

.

.

.

The first challenge.

You are always wrapped in Fear.

How did your mother not love you enough?

How did your father not love you enough?

What third imprint lies on you in your model of your parents loving?

Do you ever feel like you’ll ever be enough?

Why do characters never have parents in stories? 

      Do you really come to this temple naked? 

Take the reason why you are on this journey and throw it in the furnace.

What invisible wounds grow livid and live with this? Abandonment? Unworthiness? 

The Fear of Encountering all your numbness 

from your childhood

    like a thundering torrent and cascade

Of Discomfort and Genuinely Feeling Unsafe. 

Are you repressed?

Are you repressed?

Are you repressed?

I can make you really sick and make sure that you get all the attention and comfort you craved for. This isn’t the devil

I am the Temple of Fear. 

  I am the the Kingdom of Numb Safety.

  Yes. Stay here. I will never hurt you, I will love you. Love is never difficult. 

Can you prove me wrong?

Would you — would you really not stay here in this nice den of mine. 

Where everything is perfect. Nothing will ever trigger you to face your past and your projections. 

Will you see your Fullness with your Traumas and Hurt?

>>>do you walk knowingly into Love. Knowing you can be hurt?

That it will be unsafe.

((write a letter to the one who’s love and validation you craved for the most))

.

.

.

The second challenge.

You are always wrapped in Shame.

Maybe you’re not addicted to sex. You won’t admit that to this kingdom.

but there are a thousand other things you don’t want other people seeing. 

that you’re greedy, that you’re horny, that you eat your feelings, and that I like this kink that makes me question my sensuality. and

NO, BAD, IMMORAL, HEaTHEN.

Say: I’m not trying to impress anyone.       Whisper:  you lie.

Say: I’m not trying to run away from my misery.       Whisper:  you lie. 

Say:I’m ashamed for being who I am.           Whisper:,  there you go.

Is there escaping this? This living shadow thrashing my subconscious 

((it only looms larger the longer you stay in this temple. 

No safety like the first just this 

PANDORA’S BOX OF MESSY FEELINGS)) describe briefly.

echoes of you could’ve would’ve didn’t so —- or else I leave you! I’ll commit suicide, I’ll do this I won’t do that just please do this for me 1431. 

I manipulate and stifle all your Real desires! 

Because I love! you!

Rainshower.

What’s that, you feel in the illusive air?

J u d g e m e n t

Can you feel it? Judgement in the air tonight? —- Oh lord. 

So who do you blame for all that shame? When was the second kingdom born? Where is it in the body?

How badly did you contort your divine machine? How desperately? 

How much did you crave and bend over backwards for that, approval? That mediocre attention – love? Love? L ove? L o ? v? E? e?

>>>>, I will love me, including the shame, 

until it is loved so much it falls off like old diamonds.

.

.

.

Here are all the parts of me 

I said were undesirable

The parts that were confused and

Scolded

.

Punished myself for

And entombed 

in the deepest 

pits 

of my

being

.

When softly gazed upon,

they look like

flowers.           .  

.

How could I be mistaken ?

Look at all

These

Fragile

Frightened little 

       things

.

I punished myself the most.

.

I thought denying you 

     Would

Get me the love

   I hoped for

In all the wrong places.

I don’t know myself

.

Look at how

Much is still yearning

To unfold

.

I kept shaming 

changing myself.

.

Instead of seeing

myself.

.

I see you now, 

and will take this (page) 

into sunlight.

.

No matter      who you are.

  bloom.

.

.

.

The third challenge.

You are always wrapped in Neediness. 

A immense insecurity and Wounding of “You are Lovable”

Dependency that could rival Nations.

Cool checklist! Write the checklist. How long is it?

Who do you try to control to make yourself more comfortable? 

How do you make them believe that you love them?

This isn’t the kingdom of Power for nothing.

MANIPULATE BETTER!

C’MON! YOUR JEALOUSY BE PROJECTING

EITHER DEAL WITH the shadows of your constitution OR BE A BETTER ASSHOLE. 

<<GIANT. Dick. Energy. Is Earned.>>

How do you think life is supposed to be?

What do you deem to be a worthy and successful life?

If I tell you, you will never get that, 

(Life being larger than human thought) life and love being more than the 

candy – does things for you, gives you money, makes you a picture perfect happy ending

HOW FUCKING FAKE. 

MANIPULATE BETTER!!! JUICIER! MEATIER!! SAY IT’S MEANINGFUL. OR IT’S PART OF YOUR RELIGION, AND THAT YOU’RE LOYAL TO YOUR FAMILY AND ABUSERS. OR THEY NEED YOU.

where the laundry list of qualifications to be deserving of love?

to make yourself deserving of love?

then MAYBE! You’ll get some of that, when you’re “better”

or maybe you’re born unlovable

Maybe a 100 years in this temple. Other people know me better than me, 

I’ll never be——-

>>> I am Worthy, I am Enough.

.

.

.

What success looks like

  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________

How the people I love

Should love me

  • ____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • controlling

How they should change

For my own comfort

  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • manipulative

The things I derive my

Self-worth from

  • _____________________
  • _____________________ 
  • _____________________
  • _____________________
  • attachment

I would rather DIE

Than have the ff 

<self-worth>

Analogs be taken from me

  • _____________________
  • _____________________ 
  • _____________________
  • _____________________

The people I hate

  • _____________________
  • _____________________ 
  • _____________________
  • _____________________

They’re hatable and should 

Perish because

  • _____________________
  • _____________________ 
  • _____________________
  • _____________________

The stick 

I self-flaggelate 

the most with.

The list I use to 

fuck myself over.

Rip or throw

 list(s) into Fire.

Use more pages

 as necessary.

.

.

.

.

.

The fourth challenge.

You are always afraid of Love, to love more than you ever possibly could.

Because it will take from you -everything. All the walls and barriers and identities of who you thought you were. How much you thought you could forgive and grow and understand

eww.

How often have you broken your heart in your life?

Cried from your bones, laughed with all the cells of your body?

It’s the only way the Temple of the Heart grows bigger.

But the world is Cruel.

So your heart breaks. Don’t look away.

How do you distract yourself from feeling too much? 

      What do you eat and drink to numb yourself and forget? How do you love so poorly? 

This is the kingdom of the warrior. 

How else does the heart grow into a mansion that can house more inhabitants?

You Unbuild your prisons, your warzones

your walls

your blindness

     Your projections on the villains

the enemies

Which one’s do you have?

 In our arbitrarily assigned suffering? The avalanche from the released dam of suffering that you were so damn afraid to feel. 

     the hurt, the injustice

unloaded on you, the mindlessness, where you were collateral damage.

you take apart the wall of the victim and the abuser

for many, this is too hard to carry. This is okay.

Awakening is not all light. these are roots that much reach hell.

deep into the experiencing

intimate with the fullness of suffering

would you accept that this is love too?

this is so much

Is this Life too?

>>> I discover Truth, that I am Love.

.

LOVE

& Other Things

.

UNLOVED

& Other Things

.

.

.

The fifth challenge.

You are always wrapped in Lies

What masks do you hide behind?

At this point the kingdoms have made you shed, excessively than you could ever imagine.

Who are you now? 

Does your truth look like nothing than you expect? Valid. Valid.

Good, this is the kindom of truth, and you are to honor me as yourself.

You are to speak as authentically, fully and unapologetically as yourself.

Your words are not words but unintelligible sounds laced with the truths and life you’ve lead. 

Sing sweetly. Speak clearly.

Where is your silence just and unjust?

You lie mostly to yourself.

Answer all the temples questions again, but with a “-to be completely utterly and radically honest like I’ve ever been before” prefaced to each answer.

Really ?

Really ?

How? Why?

Can we be really sure of anything? Okay.

Do you have more questions than answers? good. It was for the listening anyway. 

Do again in case you missed that key portion. What is actually the truth?

How do you hold sensitivity to your own mystery ?

How comfortable are you with your paradoxical experiences, feelings, thoughts and emotions? 

How are other people now?

If you speak from Love and Truth, will you be yourself with others? Listening? Speaking? Engaging?

Others have become satisfied with their own miracles and never go to the next temple

>>> I am Truth that longs to be expressed and is expressing

.

.

.

The North Star

Where do you feel it in your body?

How does it call you forth?

Only you can see it.

It is as fundamental as gravity.

.

.

.

The sixth challenge.

You are always wrapped in delusion.

What pictures and fantasies have you painted?

Most of them have dashed in the earlier kingdoms, so we lift more veils.

More suffering – more joy

More love – more dimension

More complexity – more fundamental being

More dance of Maya less feel good revelation.

Shit. This is the temple of (inward) Sight.

There are shadows in you, metaphors, 

and slow moving giants in the bottom of your subconscious.

Your limbic brain (the portion with primal pattern)

S p e a k s  I n  V i s i o n s

I n D r e a m L a n g u a g e

In Blooming vases and understanding 

Of the underlying realities of quanta, of situation

What do they tell you of?

How does the soul sing sweetly to you?

You have passed earlier trials much like this.

You look into what Abyss?

They speak in tongues, or bird speech. It’s almost like the question is the wind.

There is a puzzle here that bothers you.

When has inner knowing bloomed within you, beyond the mind?

((Do you see it too?))

>>> I am Clear Seeing.

.

.

.

How does

One

Solve 

The puzzle?

.

.

.

The seventh challenge.

You are always wrapped in separation.

How do you see yourself as separate?

How often do you feel disconnected from yourself?

Do you hear how your constitution leans to one path and another?

One Decision and the Next?

What is separate from the path? Is that true really unless you return to the fifth challenge.

This is the kingdom of Faith and Surrender.

There are no questions left here, no objects and relics to collect. 

Here—

.

>>> I am.

.

.

.

Seeing

 the door

of Awareness 

.

is not 

walking

 the path

.

All of us

Must

Walk

Through

Fire.

.

.

by Maria Mison

https://mariabumby.itch.io/

https://www.patreon.com/mariamison

Jun 3 & 9 2019

download as booklet here https://mariabumby.itch.io/the-journey-thru-the-seven-kingdoms

feel free to send any amount to paypal mariabumby@yahoo.com

your soul is welcome here

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