Hi! So we’re Fucked.
The world, with no exceptions, has all fucked us over to a certain degree. Wether it’s capitalism, family inherited bullshit or just being born queer or black or from a previously colonized or plain poor area or state.
LIFE is hard! And sometimes it feels so hard to process personal and even collective pain in our bodies and in our experiences just because it’s so plain overwhelming.
HOW DO YOU EVEN start right?
Step 1: You’re not a therapist. But you’re You. Make a damn list of all your BIG fears you hate to believe but believe about yourself.
This is really simple. We just really hate to admit it and sometimes it’s gonna feel like a giant thorn is being lifted out of your body if you just let, and ALLOW yourself to admit that – yea you know what? This is unhealthy AF but it’s there I’m always haunted by it so I’m writing it down.
What’s the stuff that comes up in people’s lists? Here’s a few:
- I don’t deserve love
- I’ll never be successful
- I’m not beautiful
- People think I’m crazy/ I’m crazy
- I’ll never forgive my ex
- I’ll never heal from (my trauma CW: rape, drugs, accident)
- No one really loves me
- No one will ever ‘get’ me
- I’ll hurt someone if I become _______.
- I don’t deserve to be rich
- and so on and so forth…
I’ve had clients come up with lists that reach up to 40 items. THIS IS OKAY. This is normal. What’s crazy is making the list you’ll notice how you have some themes going on. Some ideas that needed to be iterated five time in different degrees or flavors.
Something like: I’m crazy, No one will ever accept me for being this way, I’ll never find Love because of this, I will always have to hide — and all of these follow the same string of logic but all hit different notes of energy and weight in your body. That’s ok!
Step 2: Chunk the related ones together. And highlight which ones are HEAVIEST on you.
You’re not trying to impress anybody. So don’t try to appear healed or whatever and just honestly feel – feel physically in your body which of these items fuck you up the most. Don’t judge yourself for whatever you’ve written down, treat these thoughts like literal things inside your body and just weigh them objectively. This feels heavy and so and so.
Don’t even TRY to investigate where they came from. What we’re going to do with hypno-therapy is to look at them and feel them as images – like a half dream puzzle and then move around as images and sensations. We don’t Logic w/ these beliefs we will be feeling through them and making space w/ them and it’s going to be relieving.
Step 3: Pick one and just answer one question: What does it look like and feel like in your body?
Just keep breathing deep into your body and feeling it’s insides. The insides of your hands, up your arms, your chest until all of your attentions lies into the whole entirety of your body. If you just keep bringing your attention to it it’s going to feel spacious. Almost like a blank space — that’s when you throw in the question.
And really like feel that question:
What does fear item1 look like in my body? So for example: no one will ever love me — feels like a really fucking heavy jacket. Just lead and steel and gray and dense. Cool. Okay just feel that jacket totally on your body. Don’t even like judge it feel free to move w/ it slouch, close your eyes embody the goddamn weight of the jacket if you want to.
And when you’re ready, when it just makes sense. Don’t force this. Just take it off. When it just makes sense, take it off. Otherwise just feel thru the goddamn jacket.
If you have a partner facilitating with you — allow them to guide you through prompts they feel is appropriate: like “hey, uh. What if you saw like this really pretty gown and you can’t wear it cause you’ve got that jacket on.
Oh — yea it’s like really shiny and nice.” like playing w/ a kid. Be openly curious. If you’re game for it, plant seeds of other images in your subconscious.
Step 4: Hey, when you feel loved, what does it feel like?
Like I’m in the middle of the ocean. or When I’ve been dancing all night in this one festival. Or This really cozy intimate christmas dinner I had w/ my girlfriend. Where does that occur in your body? What color?
A clear blue on my stomach. Or A fuzzy warmth on my heart. LIGHT this bursting light leaking off of my skin.
Cool okay — ask those questions. And have those hooks & sensations as possible forces that are capable of pushing, pulling, kneading, bathing, clearing, blowing through what images you saw in step 3.
If money felt like a black hole can you imagine it smaller?
What if you stuffed it with that infinite light you had access to a while ago?
What if the wound where the knife was was bathed by the ocean you feel so deeply connected to? What if a hundred years passed — what would the wound look like? What would it feel like?
FOCUS ON FEELING, and feel free to keep forwarding time — just curiously ask the question just what if? and feel and see these images move in your body.
Step 5: Go through your entire list.
Talk to your body, but not with words. But with images, with space, with sensations. I have had clients go through deep healing and transformation w/ prompts like this and I honestly know and believe that people are capable of learning to self-soothe and self-care in this way.
If you feel like you need someone else to hold you through this process feel free to message this blog or check my services. But otherwise I really do believe that vast amounts of energy CAN be moved by a willing and motivated spirit.
Step 6: Not necessarily all at once
Try to give yourself a timer for this, as short as 20min to an hour, and make sure you give yourself a break. I know there are people who might be impulsive and impatient and want to blast through their entire list in one go but you really don’t have to.
There will be changes on the level of thought and beliefs after this process. And it’s a good idea to journal self-realizations or just things you’ve made better peace with. Feel free to draw these images and just leave them somewhere you see often.
You’d be surprised how much you’re feelings will shift just seeing say – a dirty oil rig grow flowers. Or like a claustrophobic nest just drawn larger.
Feel free to revisit this list as self-care and check-in to the ecosystem of your mind body environment.
That’s it! The list that ends all lists.
Let me know in the comments what images come up often for you wall – or what are your favorite powerful sensations and images.
I always love water as a healing sensation, as well as hands that physically massage something out of me. How bout you?